Human beings are weird. It’s a whirl of emotions inside your head which means that you make lots of decisions that make no logical sense to anyone. My team might think I’m a heartless monster, devoid of any emotion, but I am human and I struggle with the very same issues.
I was watching an episode of Destination X this week where a bunch of strangers are travelling and living together on a big bus towards a mystery destination. One of the contestants, Darren, said about another contestant:
“You wouldn’t want to be inside in his head unless you were firmly attached to a long rope. Otherwise you’d get lost in there. He’s got all sorts of crazy thoughts bouncing around in there.”
Isn’t that the truth about us all?
Spending the last decade in the privileged position of coaching independent practice owners (as well as being coached myself for the last two decades) one of the weirdest things I’ve noticed is this:
In times of need, we draw back. When things go wrong, you’ll want to hide. You’ll retreat. From the very people who are there to support and help you.
When an OSA member feels like they haven’t made any progress in the last month because they’ve been dealing with crisis after crisis, they feel bad and are tempted to cancel the call. Even though you don’t have anyone else who truly gets what you’re up against and who is there ready to listen, to reassure you, or to help you get your priorities in order for the next month.
When a practice owner is facing one of their biggest business challenges yet, with the highest stakes yet, they go dark instead of staying connected. When this is the precise time you don’t want to make big mistakes if they can be avoided. Two sets (or 10 sets) of expert eyes are better than one.
When you feel overwhelmed and overloaded and slightly out of control, you’ll convince yourself that it makes no sense to come to an event. You’re too busy. Even though the last event made you feel in control, clearer and calmer. And it energised you to tackle whatever comes at you.
I get it. You want to hide when things are tough. That’s normal. But don’t. That’s when your network matters most. Keep showing up.
So often in business and life your lizard-brain will trick you into doing precisely the wrong thing. It will pull you back from the thing that you really need and that actually makes sense. Your lizard-brain is millions of years old and is designed to do one thing only – to keep you breathing and alive. That is its goal and that is why it pulls you back from anything that feels scary, risky, hard, potentially uncomfortable or embarrassing.
If you want more from your life than just breathing, you need to learn to override your lizard brain instincts, think clearly about the situation at hand, and lean into taking the actions that will move you closer to your goals and the brighter future you are imagining and working towards.
Stay Connected. Especially when it’s hard.
To Your Success!
Conor